Saturday, August 21, 2010

How should I deal with friends that are hypocrites?

Alright, my best friend, Clara, is being a COMPLETE hypocrite. I am now in 8th grade. Let's go to a time line:

5th Grade: I got a cell phone. Clara told me they were stupid.

Now: We both have cell phones. She's all popular: texting, calling people 24/7. I tell her I don't LOVE texting. She calls me weird.

6th Grade: I want an iPod. Clara says they're stupid and useless.

Now: Clara always has her iPod in her purse.

7th Grade %26amp; 8th Grade: Clara says purses are stupid. I agree.

Now: Clara carries around a purse. She says her sister paid her to do it.

8th Grade: Clara says nailpolish is stupid. I paint my nails alot.

Now: Clara paints her nails every week. She says its stupid.

And this is a REALLY FUNNY STORY! *oozing with sarcasm*

Clara started reading Twilight. She said its a great book and she was like in ';love'; with Edward Cullen. After a while, the books start getting popular and they become movies. ';It's stupid and lame,'; she says. ';I only read the 1st and 2nd book. My sister paid me to. It's SOOOO stupid you'd never like it.';

But a few weeks ago, she texted my other friend, Lily, and confessed that she read all the books on her own and they were excellent. Lily told me about it and I confronted Clara. She denied it and we got in a big fight. Clara told Lily she would never tell her anything ever again because of that. Now, she and my other friend, Tara, just taunt and tease Lily for reading Twilight. I detest them both.

Just to annoy Clara, I started reading Twilight. I did not like it one bit. But I pretended I LOVED it, just to get Clara to say she loved it.

I can't help but think the only friend I have is Lily, because she was the one who stayed loyal to me when Clara became ';shadow clara';, as we like to call her hypocrite-ness.

What should I do with Clara? Stop being friends? But we've been friends since 1st grade! What should I do??How should I deal with friends that are hypocrites?
Simply stop spending them with them and no longer take anything they say seriously. That will send a message to these hypocritical friends that you find them annoying.How should I deal with friends that are hypocrites?
Clara and Tara %26lt;=== lol sound horrible for teasing somone who likes twilight. (in my school ppl wd be teasing them) to be honest though they aren't worth it leave em :)
Your making a huge about this. Sorry, but really. People change.

But, when you got a cell phone and then she said she hates them yet gets a cell phone later. She was probably just jealous you had one and said she hates them to you because she thought you were bragging about it. She was just mad that you got one before she did.

If this is truly bothering you thought them just stop hanging out with her then. But really you need to find a way to get over this small flaw of hers. If you two get in a fight over small stuff like that then you might as well end the relationship now, cause you won't be able to go through harder stuff together.

How do you deal with friends that may not be tolerant?

hey, i'm studying in college and I have this new friend. I used to be closed with her but she's really sensitive and hot tempered. If she disagrees to something, she'll just show it so obviously by the way she acts the following days. First, she'll just ignore you as you are invisible. Next, she'll somehow try to pull your self esteem down as if you just block the whole world to move. sigh.

I've been tolerating with her for so long. Why should she shows everytime she doesn't like something or even just a very small matter. We're supposed to be tolerating. Not just me or others.How about her? Dont just show that face of yours..i bet she have try to be tolerant. Friends are about accepting the weakness and tolerating isn't it? I just feel sick of her actions. Sometimes, I thought it is rather childish. She's going to face problems when she's out working or something if she still insist on that. Before that, I thought I have problems when dealing with friends and people. I felt really miserable but feel much better now. How do you guys see it? Thanks for the advice =) I may have my own weakness too and still improving on that. I just want to know what you guys think.How do you deal with friends that may not be tolerant?
Your friend has obviously not grown up yet. Address her with the problem, if she acts childish choose other people to hang around with. You should hang out with people who are going to benefit you. Choose to hang with positive people who will help you grow and experience a beautiful life. Not with someone who is constantly stressing you out and pulling you down. Good luck with your problem, i hope i was a help.How do you deal with friends that may not be tolerant?
Maybe your not tolerant of them.

How to deal with friends who change..?

So I had a best friend in high school - we were super tight, did everything together, etc. Well, we're now in our third year of university and our relationship is slowly deteriorating more and more as time goes on. There have been several occasions over the last few yrs where she has left me hanging/blew me off and I have really come to resent her for it (I'm really hurt by it). Yet, we remain ';friends'; but I struggle with this because she is not the friend she once was to me, not even close. (This being said, I know deep down she cares about me and wants to stay friends).

Do I just accept the fact that she has become a relatively flaky person and that we're likely only going to talk when she can spare 5 minutes? Am I just supposed to ';take what I can get'; from now on and be fine with it? I'm wondering - if someone used to be such a good friend and turned into someone who makes far less effort than they used to, why bother keeping them at all? Plus, she has changed in other ways - she drinks/parties a lot now (she hasn't tired of it yet..) and has SUCH a naive attitude towards guys! I spend most of our ';friendship'; irritated at the crappy friend she has become.

Thoughts? Thanks.How to deal with friends who change..?
Don't make any announcements about how your friendship is over. Just put this friendship on a back burner and start spending time with other people. Quit calling this person, and when she calls you say...Oh dear, that sounds so lovely and I would certainly have loved to have done that, but I have already made plans.

The world will go around and around and, one day, your friend will grow up and be a better companion. That is why you don't make announcements that the friendship is over, you just quit putting time into it for now.How to deal with friends who change..?
Unfortunately, nothing is forever (except Christ). People grow apart. Start cultivating a new set of friends.
Sometimes friends grow apart and you just have to adjust and move on like she has. Its obvious that she doesn't value the friendship that you once shared. So its time to move on and find you some new friends and don't worry she will wake up and want to be your friend again and then you can blow her off.
Uh, I don't know what you think your choices are besides either taking it or leaving it.

Sometimes friendships will go through times when the friends are less close, then they get close again; sometimes they end.

If you're not happy in the friendship NOW, then why keep getting in touch?

You can't change her. All you can do is choose whether to contact her the same, less, or not at all.

How do i deal with friends that hate my girlfriend?

So i have dated this absolutely amazing girl for the past year and a half. But my friends have always trashed her and said that she takes me away from spending time with ';the homies';. Now this girl happens to be a very high maintenance girl friend. but most girls are anyways and trust me......this girl's worth it. But my friends start even trashing me for going out with her. and the more they do this, the more I start feeling pushed away and unliked by them. So eventually it gets to me and i break up with my girl friend for my friends. and i spend 2 months single. single life has its benefits but i didn't like it as much as my gf and i went back to how it used to be with my friends. Now in this past week i've been talking to my ex and have been hooking up with her and the whole shabang but i can't let my friends know this. or should i tell them? I guess i could always keep her a secret. but then i would have to be living a lie. remember my friends hate the idea of me and this girl together so much, that if they knew i ever went near her some of them would leave my side forever. i have NO idea what to do with them or this girl i reaalllllllyy am in love with. need help.How do i deal with friends that hate my girlfriend?
You need to figure out exactly why it is they don't like her. This is a common reoccuring theme but usually there is an underlying problem and you should ask them and really listen to them, and explain how much you like her. If it really just is that you spend all your time with her, then honestly you should change that around. It's not good to spend all your time with your gf. You do need to make some time with your other friends. And yes, you should tell them that you two are back together. If she really does mean that much to you and you don't want to lose her again then you need to let her know that you DO want people to know you are with her and she's not just some secret.How do i deal with friends that hate my girlfriend?
Are they truly your friends if their trashing your girl friend? Most likely they are jealous,I'm assuming that they don't have girl friends.You need to make a decision,if they are truly your friends then they'll stand by your side.You can't keep breaking up with this girl to play the field and please them.Follow your heart,what is your gut feeling?Do what pleases you.
if they were true friends they would support you either way. my boyfriend's friends trashed me for a year and now they learned to accept that he wants to be with me. i think you should do the same. tell your friends to lay off and stop saying stuff about her. if you love your girlfriend then nobody should take that away from you. if they still do it then they really arent true friends.
If you love the girl then forget what you friends say; is your life; more specially your LOVE LIFE. You should try to spent more time with them though; so they won't feel left out, cus it sounds like you're always with your girlfriend. But don't leave her! sounds like you really love her, and if your friend love you they'll understand.
If you lie about your girlfriend you are soooo crazy!! Since when did these friends become your life manager? Tell them where to go and live your life. If this girl is worth it, your mates will soon get over themselves and find a new 'homie' to trash! x
You need to make a choice. You can either let your ';friends'; determine who date or you can date who you want and tell your ';friends'; to **ck off; I'm pretty sure they will understand that reply. They sound like a bunch of childish jerks.
The girl comes first.

They can't be real friends if they can't be happy for you. Look at it the simplest way... they're jealous and don't have lives of their own.
My ex is doing this to me..

he's keeping me a secret.. (though im keeping him a secret too)

but relly.. choose the girl or the friends..

yur friends sound like jerks

my ex's are.. they broke us up

just follow yur heart okayy?
tell them to F off if they are your freinds they wouldnt be dissing on your girlfreind
Listen, if you really love someone you shouldn't feel as though you can't be with them because of your friends. From my own experience friends come and go through out your life no matter how long you've known each other. And if they were real friends they'd see that you really love her and your serious about her. Dumping her for your friends was the worssse thing you could do because now she's gonna feel horrible that you chose your friends over her. How do you know you won't marry this girl someday? Don't dump her cause your friends. If they still give you **** about it they're not your real friends. And I wouldn't wanna know what they're saying behind your back if they're saying this stuff to your face. Your going to spend the rest of your life with a girl, not your friends. So if you really loved this girl you'd go after her no matter wtf anyonnne thought. You love her, its your life not there's.
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  • How to deal with a friends miscarriage? What do I say or do to make her feel better?

    I think the best thing you can do is to let her know that you care and that you are there for her if she needs you. Send her cards frequently - just to say you're thinking about her. Send her some funny ones, too - to lighten her mood. Maybe offer to take her to the spa for the two of you to get a pedicure or something fun! Get her out of the house once in a while. Don't try to forget about the baby she lost, but try to get her mind onto more pleasant things for a while.How to deal with a friends miscarriage? What do I say or do to make her feel better?
    Well, just tell her you are sorry and that if she needs anything to let you know. She may not want to talk about it at all. Just let her be the lead. BTW, someone told me it was better off because the baby was probably malformed. I knew that to be true, but really wasn't in the mood for hearing it.

    Best of luck!!!How to deal with a friends miscarriage? What do I say or do to make her feel better?
    just ask her if she would like to talk about it and maybe go to her house and spend time with her. She is probably feeling very lonely right now. If she doesn't want to talk about it then just let it go but still be there for her. Some women don't like talking about miscarriages right after they happen. Don't tell her that you know where she's coming from or that once she gets pregnant again it will feel better. Just let her say what she needs to say and offer her some kind that you will be there for her and if she needs any help to just let you know.
    just tell her you are always there for her, that she can talk to you about anything.
    I went through the same problem with my friend. You cant really say anything, just be there for her when she needs you.
    The best thing that you can do is give her a shoulder to cry on. She just needs somebody to listen and be there for her. I have had several friends in the last few years have miscarriages and that was all that I could do...but it was all that they wanted as well. I'm sorry to hear of your friends loss.
    Just Spend time with her. In reality there is nothing you can do , or say. All you can do is be there an be a support system for her.
    You don't have to say a word ... just give her a hug and let her know your there for her! I wouldn't dare suggest ';what'; to say - I've never had a miscarriage and couldn't imagine how it feels. Letting her know your there for her if she needs to cry, yell, or just stare at you is what I'd suggest. A true friend (which you obviously are!) doesn't need to say anything .. just hold her head while she cries. Sorry for BOTH of your loss - I wish you the best!
    I would start by saying a prayer for her, I just did, I know that prayers are always answered. I nice card, with a hand written note would show that you care as well.
    There isn't anything you can say. Just be there for a shoulder to cry on. If they need talk then listen. Don;t bring up ';having another'; or ';trying again';. You meen well, but its too hard hear, and its what everyone feels the need to say.

    Having a loss like this is hard to understand even for the person that had the miscarriage. They happen for lots of reasons and not all are known by medical science. Sometimes it just happens, thats when its the hardest, you don't have any answers and all you feel is guilt and loss.
    My friend had two miscarriages in 4 months. All you can really do is say your sorry it happened to her, and it had to happen for a reason. Keep incouraging her to not give up hope and to not be discouraged to try again. I usually never brought up the subject unless she did. It was also really hard because when she had her miscarriages, i was pregnant at the time which made it really hard for me. I tried not to buy baby stuff around her. But still talked about what was going on with my pregnancy. It somehow helped to make her feel better and feel like not giving up on trying to have a baby.
    Make sure you let her know you are there for her if she needs to talk. I had a miscarriage in August and I certainly found out who my friends were. There is nothing you can say that can change it but just let her know you are there for her thats all I needed but my friend let me down big time.

    How to deal with friends moving away?

    I'm 20 years old and I'm a kind of shy person and for me to make friends it takes alot and once i open up to people i become attached and care about them as if theyre a part of my family. Ever since I was young I had a huge fear of rejection and abandonment. Over the last year and a half I have had 3 of my friends move to florida [i live in pennsylvania], 2 move to new york, 1 move to south carolina, 1 move to california, and 2 die. So I only have like 3 good friends left...and I just found out today that one of my friends and her daughter are moving to tennessee in a few weeks. I try to keep in touch with my friends that moved by talking on the phone/online but its not the same as when their around. What are some things i can do to cheer up and not feel so lonely, it feels like everyone just wants to leave me. Please dont just say go make some friends because I try, i'm just not a very social/talkative person. And alot of activities that i like to do, require having lots of people with you [like sports and games]How to deal with friends moving away?
    just keep in touch though email, texting, talking, and visiting them as often as you can is most all you can do...

    mine plz?;鈥?/a>

    How do deal with friends who ditch you?

    Okay, so it has been my 3rd month so far in college. At first everything was great, I was friends with my roommate and made a bunch of other friends, just a giant group of friends (six of us total), we would go to the Mall, and to dinner at the cafeteria. But a couple weeks ago my roommate (she's kinda like the leader of the group) started to break away and spend time with our friends and invite me last minute, and in the last 2 weeks not invite me at all. We all used to go to dinner together, now the five of them go together without inviting me, we all used to have movie night on Fridays, but now I noticed all my friends leaving at nights on Fridays and coming back late from the movies (we all live across from each other in the same dorm), now they go the Mall without me, and whenever I try to talk to them they answer quickly and harshly like they are angry at me or know something but don't want to tell me or just ignore me completely(example: I asked my friend if she was going to a club we both participate in on campus, she just looked up from her computer said no and then ignored me when I was going to ask her something else), just now I was on Facebook and they left without me to go shopping. I don't know what to do; I think I should talk about it with them, but my roommate is one of my supposed friends and I don't want to make things awkward for us the rest of the year, I don't want to smother my friends if they don't want me there either, i don't want to be invited out of pity or guilt, which makes me wonder if that is why they were nice at first and invited me out at all in the first place. I don't think I said anything to make them angry at me, I always check my words before I say them and they haven't said anything to me. Help, what should I do?How do deal with friends who ditch you?
    forget about it. go find new friends. get off the internet.

    people change groups of friends in the first year of college all the time. sure, it sucks right now, but step back from the situation and take a look. Youre roomate sounds mean. better for you to find out now than after you wasted time being her friend for a year or something.

    get new friends. and try and live in peace with your roomate because even though shes mean you still have to look at her everyday.How do deal with friends who ditch you?
    Easy. Forget them. I'm in middle school and I dealt with the same BS. I got tired of it and even though I didn't have any other friends I just stayed alone for a while then found REAL friends that didn't ditch me. It sucks being alone but it's all worth it in the end when you find real people. Also, some of the people that ditched me ended up following me and I ditched them. They got a taste of their own medicine. :) lol