How do you help a 23 year old friend deal with the death of her 45 year old mother to cancer?

she only was diagnosed a year ago and was doing better and then she felt bad and died the next week leaving 3 kids olderst 23, 19, 16, and her husband, how do I help my friend, the 23 year old cope with all of this?How do you help a 23 year old friend deal with the death of her 45 year old mother to cancer?
Be there for her. I lost my father to cancer, so I know, partly, how she must be feeling.





Sometimes you want to talk, sometimes not. Respect that. Listen when she wants to talk. And don't give up when all the attention fades away; include her in everything.





She's lucky to have her family and you; it's always easier to deal with when the grief is shared. You can always ask if there's anything she needs help with, but play it by ear also. See if she needs any help with the younger members of the family.





It will take time, but things settle down after time. Take your cue from her.





I know it's difficult.How do you help a 23 year old friend deal with the death of her 45 year old mother to cancer?
just be therre for them when they need support. this is something that they need to deal with inside as well. let them know you are around.
i appreciate you trying to help him out and thats wut a real frined should do dont let him break apart try to cheer him up aand watch wut u sya cuz these times are sensitive sorry about his mother
this is really hard and happened to me, since i write poems he asked me to write a poem about his mom. you can't really do anything except wait for him to want to talk to you, but don't force him. he needs your support more then anything
Losing your Mom is the hardest. I know. You just have to be there for her. Let her talk and cry. Cry with her. When ever I am sad and crying for my mom I also remember how sick she was and that now she is with God and I think about how miserable she was here. I thank God for taking her home and not making her suffer anymore.
Just be positive and always available for what ever they need
It is not easy when anyone dies. My sister died just a couple weeks after my husband and I were married from cancer, I still miss her to this day and it has been almost 8 years. My suggestion is to be there for your friend. Sometimes it just helps to have a shoulder to lean on or someone to talk to. Ask your friend if there is anything that you can do. In there time of need maybe you can make a meal for them or go get some groceries or run some errands, you never know what they might need and the simplist tasks are sometimes the hardest to do. The hurt never goes away but it does get easier to bear.
Tell her her mom is in a special place and that she will always look down at u and do something special examples:


take her out to eat


draw her a picture of her m0m or have a real artist


go to church


sorry thats all i can think of
honestly, as the other people said, just be there for the person. Don't force a conversation about what happened. Just let them come to you and open up. Creating a level of comfort so that they can come and express their feelings and emotions without judgment, is the key.





Love your friend to the fullest throughout this time. And when they do come and speak to you about the situation, make sure they also understand their mom is in a far better place than this earth!





good luck !
I was 20 when I lost my mom to cancer. And believe me, it still hurts 21 years later. All you can do is be there for your friend. Allow her to talk when she wants to talk and allow her some space when she wants that. And let her know that you are available to her. Ask her how you can help, too, rather than assuming you know what she needs. She'll tell you.
Be there for them all not just the 23 year old friend. I lost my dad to cancer when I was 21 and two days before my daughter was born. I was made easier from all of my friends support.
I think all the above is excellent advice.This lady is going to be grieving the loss of her mother and probably taking on more responsibility in relation to her family.She will appreciate your support in bearing these burdens.Contact her regularly to be a listening ear and give encouragement and maybe practical help.
The best thing you can do for your friend is just be there and listen to her talk, vent, and cry. It has to be very hard on the husband to now have the full responsibility of the kids, plus his own grief. Your friend being the oldest is going to feel she has to pull more weight at the home/house too now. Maybe you can take them some meals, easy fix foods to help them out, offer to help with time consuming chores house cleaning etc. People who are grieving don't have alot of energy and are similiar to those depressed, they are tired, sad, and very emotional. They have to heal. Watch how they do and maybe if they need it see that they talk to a minister or counselor if they aren't coping very well in a few weeks. Grief can last a year or more but very intense grief, the first stage after the shock wears off can become very serious, people can become suicidal and very guilt ridden at this time. Try to help your friend by including her in any invitations that come up like parties even though she might not want to go, she'll appreciate being asked, to feel she's included still in the friends circle. If going to the store, call and ask if they need anything too.
My name is April and I am 24 year's old. I lost my mom last year in Jan on the 4th of 2005. She was 45 when she died. I have a little boy who turned 3 this past Jan. I am getting married next year and she wont be here to see it.


For me, I know I like'd it a lot when I had people to talk to. I can say that sometime's she is going to want to be alone and left alone. She will have good day's and laugh and bad one's when all she want's to do is cry. Holiday's are always going to be the hardest. A card every now and then is always good to send to her to let her know you are thinking about her. Don't bring the subject up unless she does. Be here friend and help her in every way she need's it. No one understand's what she is going through unless they too have lost there mother.


If she has any children, that is going to make it hard to. For me, my son was almost 2 when she died and he was till learning so much more and I knew she would enjoy seeing it.


All you can do is be there with her when she need's a friend. I can promise you that it will get better. My mom has been gone for a year in a half and it has gotten easier. The first mother's day is hard, the second it get's a little easier. The holiday's get easier.


Let her know if she need's someone to talk, that she can email me at Tatoocrazy2003@yahoo.com. I can help her get through this too and little faster too. If you need any more advice, please feel free to ask.





I am so sorry she has to go through this. My mom died from lung cancer.
This is a hard time for you, as well.


I lost my sister to cancer and she left behind 4 beautiful kiddos and loving husband.


The American Cancer Society has some really wonderful materials for you to read about being there for someone who has been affected by cancer. Call the 800 number and they will send them to you!


When my sis was going through it, there were times when I just had to tell her that I had no words. It seemed that nothing I said would be able to prevent the impending pain that we all knew was coming... We talked as much as we could every day before she died.


Now that she is gone, our family goes through stages. Sometimes one member is down and the others just listen. Sometimes we accompany one another to her grave and sit in silence. I do my college homework there sometimes.


Once, I went there and called my other sis and it was just the three of us again... kind of.


The pain turns your life upside down and we all had to learn some important things. For my mom, it helps to think that God didn't call her home, he accepted her when she went home.


For me, it helps to think of the finite energy theory and that she could still be around - watching us.


Whatever the case, just being there for your friend is the best thing - always. If that means not being THERE, but being available so that your friend can have time alone, then so be it. Hopefully, your friend is able to vocalize what is needed.


You are a good friend to be seeking this information.


Remember to take care of yourself, too.


T