need time out from them visiting you or inviting every single day to come over and visit them? The guy is a friend of my husband's and he and his girlfrind came over the other night, not even calling. A ';surprise'; visit. They stayed until 1:00 am. We live in an apartment building and I was worried we were making too much noise. I like them a lot, but we have a life, too, outside of them and they want to visit almost EVERY DAY! How do I let them know in a nice way that won't hurt their feelings that we have other plans. They came over today with a cooler full of chicken and BBQ sauce ready for a cookout and we didn't even know they had planned that! I felt so bad, but my husband and I needed a break from them, so we told them a lie that we had something else to do!! I really felt bad for them! What do we do? My husband's friend obviously doesn't communicate with his girlfriend about the plans. When he does come by he's usually already a few sheets in the wind, and I think he forgets what we say to him the night before! Also, there's a big age difference between us and them. We're old enough to be their parents!! They seem to be soo needy for friendship.
How do you deal with friends that don't understand?
I would just have a talk with them and say that while you do enjoy spending time with them, that you need to know ahead of time so that you can make sure you don't have any other obligations. If you force them to call ahead of time, then you give yourself the opportunity to say no in advance so you don't get any more surprises, and you don't have to see them constantly.
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