How do you deal with friends who expect expensive presents?

A group of my close friends and I exchange gifts during Christmas and birthdays. It's gotten more and more awkward with those who are well-off buying expensive presents and those who are tighter buying less expensive ones.





I, tend to lean towards the more expensive side; mostly because the items my friends want are usually just that. So initially for me, its more about what they want rather than how much it costs. I don't see the point of giving someone something that won't be of use to them.





However, I feel a little taken advantage of. I think its unfair that some of my friends and I spend a lot of money on items that the others want while they give us cheap -and most of the time, rather thoughtless- presents under the excuse of 'we can't afford what you guys wanted'.





So for the last string of birthdays, I gave my friends gifts that are worth more or less the same as the ones that they gave me. We ended up with those who gave me expensive presents getting expensive gifts and those who gave me cheaper ones getting items of the same value. I still take the time to think about their uses to them though and I thought that was fair.





Only now some of them started talking behind my back about how I'm discriminating and how I'm only 'pampering' those who gave me expensive presents.





I'm not sure how to deal with that. Any suggestions?How do you deal with friends who expect expensive presents?
The whole thing is too materialistic. I would just get what I can afford, even go on the cheap side, like a gift card to Starbucks, or something like that. A ';true'; friend will not be bothered by this, and if a ';true'; friend were to give you a gift, they should not expect one back.


No one ';has'; to get anyone anything. You and they should give because they want to, not because they have to. If they don't like it, then it's time for some new friends.How do you deal with friends who expect expensive presents?
just try to explain to them why you are acting that way. And see what they say. If they still talk about you then they're not true friends.
Gift giving should not be a comparative process. If you begrudge your friends the gifts you offer because of what you get in return, it's not being done in the proper spirit and should simply stop. Plan an outing where everyone goes dutch. As for people who expect gifts, expensive or otherwise, the same thing applies. That's not the spirit of the giving. A lump of coal will suffice.





ADDED:





You've been offered solid, real world answers and insight and you seem to be rejecting it all out of hand. One of my biggest peeves with Y!A is that people seem to most come here looking for justification and support, not advice and information. Cut to the chase and tell us what it is you want to hear, and I'm sure someone will say it so you can call it ';best answer'; and they'll get 10 points.
Set a dollar amount on the presents that way no one will feel slighted.
Sorry, but you are way too hung up on the cost of things. Any gift, regardless of cost should be accepted with gratitude. The excuse that ';We could not afford something more expensive'; is a valid one. Not everyone can afford expensive gifts. Some people try and and aren't very good at selecting the right gift even when they do have money. Maybe with some friends you should decide to have a truce on gift-giving. If they can't afford your taste, you'll take a lot of pressure off of them to come up with gifts that meet your expectations. Just get together and enjoy each other's company on special occasions and give up on the gifts. Many adults do just that anyway.
Just get everyone socks, practical and they usually all cost the same.
Diamond... I didn't know that friends got to say what was and wasn't appropriate for an amount to spend on them. A gift is given from the heart, not from the pocket im sorry to say. The cost hasn't anything to do with it. In other words your friends are are more dear the more they spend compared to those who can't afford too? I feel sorry the lot of you. You have all indeed lost the meaning of F-R-I-E-N-D-S-H-I-P as you have put a price on it. I thank you for the valuable lesson of how some value their so called friends. I would be pleased to say none of them would be of worthy to me to be called friends. Good Luck Steve
Civilized people do not notice the price of any gift they receive.





No one in their right mind spends more than they can afford on a gift.





One can find a gift someone will enjoy or get good use out of without bankrupting yourself.





No one capable of true friendship would expect someone to pay more than they can afford for a gift. What do you expect people who aren't rich to do, when you're demanding expensive presents?





The whole point of a gift is thoughtfulness -- is this something the person will enjoy?





It would be more meaningful to reverse your rule: Since rich people can afford to buy what they want, you can give them less-expensive, but thoughtful gifts. Since people who don't have money can't buy nice things for themselves, you could give them things they can't afford, but you can.





Better to figure out what you can afford per year, and buy comparable things for everyone, rather than to go out of your way calculating what each person spends on you, and favoring the rich friends over your poor ones.