I have friends...deal with it!?

My girlfriend went through my mobile bill and found that I had rang a girl from work around 89 time in the last month and now she keeps having a fit because of it. Friday afternoon the girl from work told me that someone had rang her asking her if she knew Layla. That was my girlfriend and I didn't even deny making the phone calls so I don't know why she keeps harassing the poor girl at work. Last time I posted this I was ';told off'; by some users for ringing someone other than my girlfriend 89 times, however she is a very good friend and I enjoy talking to her. Anyway how should I get my girlfriend to acknowledge the fact that I do have friends?!?I have friends...deal with it!?
You both need to accept that you have friends outside of the relationship. It is healthy to have mutual friends and healthy to have seperate friends. However, you also need to have time together.





Firstly, your girlfriend has no right to continue calling the person from work. You must tell her to stop, if she doesn't, sorry the relationship is over. This is certainly not acceptable.





Look at things objectively, on average 3 times per day is a lot of times to call somebody - do you see her at work five days per week? I can understand why your girlfriend might be suspicious, but it does not condone her actions.





It's not clear whether you and your girlfriend live together or how much time you spend together. If you live together, or spend lots of time together, I would imagine she must have realised that you call (and presumably receive calls from) a girl at work very frequently. It does seem odd that you call this woman on average 3 times per day (and presumably she calls you on average 3 times per day, too), yet your girlfriend is never around if you live together or spend lots of time with your girlfriend.





You must be allowed to call your friends if you want to, but maybe (if just for the sake of lowering your phone bill), consider if you need to phone that frequently. Will things wait until work tomorrow? Will things wait for a couple of hours until you have more things to say on the phone.





While I feel you have not done anything wrong (assuming these calls don't interfere with your relationship with your girlfriend), I would suggest trying to call this friend less often.





Tell your girlfriend clearly that there is no affair and that your girlfriend must not telephone this friend again. Tell her it will be over if she calls this friend just one more time.





Good luck





Nick


:)I have friends...deal with it!?
you should have told your gf about your friend at work, then it wouldnt have created such a problem.





but you really need to sit down with your gf now, if she keeps harassing a co worker, you could lose your job.
Fine.





Have friends.





Call them all you want.





I'm still going to tell you this: You placed an average of 3 calls a day to a person other than your girlfriend. Expect some jealousy. Your behavior is not indicative of a normal, healthy relationship with your g/f.





If you don't like this answer, either block me or quit asking this question.
tell your gf that she either needs to learn to trust you or its through. there is no point of staying with her if she doesnt let you breath.
jst tell her. make it clear to her tht its jst a friend.
sounds like gf is jealous. so that means, to me, maybe she's insecure about your relationship with her. maybe she's thinking you're stepping out on her? (if you're not in a partner-type relationship, sorry about the assumption - i surmised that from her going through your records).





if you're not stepping out on her, then sit her down and explain to her why you call the other girl so often. that may clarify it to her (and to you?).





if you are stepping out on her, then explain that to her so the situation won't get out of hand, pulling the other girl into a bad situation.
have trust in you or dump the *****
My girlfriend is the same way. She gets way to jealous, though I've never ';rang'; up a girl that many times I have called a girl a couple of times and been ';B*tched out'; for it. I didn't see anything wrong with it and I explained that to my girlfriend and over time she seemed to get over it. Now she really couldn't give a hoot.
I'm not going to tell you off, but I do think you should take a step back and look at this objectively. Yes we do all have friends (at least I hope we do), but calling someone other than your GF 89 times in a month suggests she may be the sort of emotional crutch that your GF would expect only they could be.
You need to talk to your girlfriend, let her know how much she means to you and that you would never be with anyone else so she has no reason to worry. Then make sure she know that you also have friends that mean a lot to you, but not in that way, but you enjoy talking to them.
Isn't it past your bed time?
lol well my sister had the same question...but in the end she actually was cheating HAHA so i say, ya have friends, but remember who you supposedly love the most, but i agree she needs to realize that, and if she is spazing this much, i say she has a guilty conscience...she probably has already cheated on you and is trying to feel better about herself :P
your gf should not have been going thru your cell phone bill without your permission. she deserves all of the bad feelings she is having now.





i say, ';if you dont want to know the truth, then dont ask the question';. this is similar to, if you dont want to know the truth, then dont go snooping around for possible problems and assumptions.





the number of calls isnt as relevant either -- but perhaps the length of calls. sometimes, you call each other 4 or 5 times in half an hour when trying to find each other around campus, or inside walmart even - but the calls are 1 to 2 mins. 89 calls can add up quickly if you are trying to meet up with people out and about like at bars, concerts, etc.





what you dont say is: how many minutes per month are you talking to your friend.... 89 calls and 100 minutes total for month is quite different than 89 calls and 8900 minutes per month.





in any case, you have come clean about your friend. your gf definitely has to NOT call or harass her, it affects YOUR job.





i would suggest tho', perhaps you should include your gf sometimes on an outing with your friend, go for coffee/tea at the caf茅, go to a movie all 3 of yous, or something. gf probably is scared that you will leave her.





and if that is the case, her jealousy will not help. if you love your gf, include her w/ your friend sometimes - not everytime, but sometimes. if you are having other issues w/ your gf (and i suspect you are!), then you might need to break up with her.





i personally would not tolerate a jealous gf or bf that goes snooping around. i would throw them out the door first before i change my life to be something that i am not.
Your girlfriend is obviously very scared of losing you and 89 calls in a month does seem a bit excessive, just for a friend. It builds up a picture in your gf's mind that isn't true. You need to talk to your girlfriend and tell her how much you love her and you have no intentions of leaving her but you must be allowed to have your own friends.


If your gf keeps phoning your friend at work, you will lose her, who would want all that hassle. You could lose your job because you are at the centre of all this and you may lose your gf.


So if you don't talk you could all be losers which would be a terrible shame.
I have friends too... fart on it.